Dark Horse (and updates on the rest)

Happy Labor Day!

It was long overdue, but today I finally, ultimately cut the cord on LA guy AKA Divorced Guy #1.  I tried to maintain an aloofness and indifference to his relationship with his ex-wife, but I couldn’t.  And I don’t feel that I should have to.  So after a weekend of zero communication with him out camping, I realized that I didn’t miss him.  When he left NYC, I missed him… but it was more likely that I missed the idea of what he represented.  But I have no intention of, as I told him, sharing his world with her being in it.  There have been enough red flags for me to heed.  That’s it – finito – no backsies!!

What this blog post concerns is someone new but who I’ve known for about five years.  We were never really friends but would speak a bit when we saw each other.  I’m not comfortable going into too much detail about him out of respect for him and his family and my own job.  You could say that ever since I met him, I’ve been drawn to him and his calm, cool way.  There’s just something about him that I couldn’t explain but because of who he is, I maintained a distance despite his being very approachable; during one of the many seasons of change on my team at work, I heard from a reliable source that he even saved my role from being made obsolete.  Whenever we spoke, it would be about life, not work, and I loved that!

It all started on Facebook.  A few months ago, there was the friend request and no communication for a couple months.  Then he started liking my running statuses.  I caved and had to reach out!  It was a quick note to say hello and thank you for all the support over the years, even now as I train for the marathon, no more than 5 sentences.  He responded with a slightly longer message, and they just kept getting longer.  I didn’t know what to make of it; actually I still don’t.  Not knowing what to do in this rather unique situation, I took a page from my online dating rule book and never gave him my personal email address or mobile number.  We communicated strictly via FB Messenger for a few weeks until the day he gave me his # and email.

We talk about books and family and food and traveling and life – everything except for work, just like before.  He suggested coming to NYC and cruising up the Hudson – how could I say no to that?!  This was the best idea I’d heard in ages!  The time frame went from “the fall” to “September” to “let me know some dates you’re available”.  What has me floored right now is his latest email.  This whole time I thought he’d come in just for the day and turn back around that evening; maybe at most, spend one night. He wrote today that he’ll come in and spend a night in the city so we can meet up for dinner, then go along the Hudson the following day.  So we wouldn’t be rushed, he’d stay in the city that night as well, and head home the following day.

Umm… what?

I’m nervous, excited, anxious… I can’t believe that this has been going on.  He is someone who I’ve always admired; what’s he want from me?

It’s my turn to write back to him but I haven’t yet.  Our email exchanges are long and while it’s tempting to write back to him now, I’ll be up for another hour at least crafting that message.  My sister-in-law says that these long emails are the love letters of the age we live in.  I never saw it that way, I guess because everyone just texts their faces off which drives me crazy (as you know).  But now I find myself really looking forward to and anticipating his messages.  I get really excited when I see his name pop up in my inbox.  Butterflies, even.


Let me clarify: he has kids but no longer has a wife.  We aren’t talking about a cheating spouse here because ain’t nobody got time for that.

We haven’t seen each other in… I don’t know.  Months?  Maybe over a year?  And I’m already wondering what the hell am I going to wear!??!  Palm.  Face.  I haven’t gotten this worked up over a man in a really long time.  Regardless of what happens, it’s a nice change.  And definitely gives me something to talk to my therapist about on Friday!!

It took me a while to believe that this – whatever it is – is really happening, and even longer for me to want to blog about it.  But it’s here now!  This one could be different… but as with everything, approach it cautious optimism!  Let’s see what happens in a few weeks when he’s here.


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