In the past week, including in the past 24 hours, there have been some developments – for better or for worse. I can’t figure out which, to be honest.
On I think Wednesday night, Hot Boss and I somehow got onto the subject of what was happening between us. It was another one of those marathon conversations which I enjoy having with him, but this subject was surprising. Because I feel that he is such a straight shooter, I asked him the two obvious questions:
- Are you trying to fill a void?
- Am I just a distraction?
He said no to both, and ultimately said that he knows himself well enough to know that he is neither trying to fill a void, nor am I serving as just some distraction from his situation, nor a stop gap till something else comes along. He said that he doesn’t want to get hurt, and he doesn’t want to hurt anyone. I completely understand that, however, I had two counterpoints:
- He’s never been in a situation like this one before, so what if what he thinks he knows is true isn’t?
- As he and I have discussed at length in the past, with regards to many aspects of life, nothing great happens if you don’t leave your comfort zone.
It’s easy to be on the safe side, but that’s not always been my MO and neither his. He said that he does like talking to me and getting to know me and that he does like me and that from what he knows, the best relationships start off as friendships. I said that could be true, however, you could go so far down the friendship path that one or both of you decide it’s not worth risking to try something else. Amiright?
I told him that the whole situation with me is a bit of a challenge because I have to set aside any feelings that aren’t strictly platonic. He responded by saying, let’s see what happens when we’re in front of the fireplace. Oh touche!! That shut me up. Either way, I reassured him that I wasn’t trying to establish a status of any sorts, and that whatever the outcome might be, I’m happy to just get to know him – all of which is true!! However, what this also tells me is that I really am at liberty to meet, date, etc. other dudes. I almost brought this up to him, but decided not to, haha.
Also, I now know how old he is: 20 years older than I am. I was shocked! I really thought he was 5 years younger than that! But it doesn’t change anything. He’s still sexy AF.
We talked about possibly going out to California together before I start school since I have that week off, and his son will be away for school. 🙂
Enter The Giant. The Haunted Hayride last night was SO FUN!!! I wanted to go again!! The actors were really good and I’d read a tip to sit at the back of the flatbed trailer, so we did. Those actors were climbing onto the sides of the trailer, leaning in, getting in your face, yelling at you, staring you with crazy eyes, and one dude even had a bat and was hitting the side of the trailer! The makeup and production in general was pretty awesome. I highly recommend it!! And definitely sit in the back! It was noted that the actors were picking on me. Why, I don’t know. It was also noted that The Giant was swinging me around so I would be between him and the zombie/monster/burnt child/demon/etc. but he said that he was not using me as a human shield, but instead so I could see them because they were coming at us from every angle. WHATEVER!! Either way, it was super fun and I’m glad we went.
We hit Red Rooster afterwards for a very late dinner and hung out at the bar for a while and listened to music and talked. He’s really not bad, and I found myself being slightly more comfortable around him.
We came back to my place afterwards at 2am, omg. I somehow woke up at 830, texted Hot Boss who flew to LA today, and then was awake while The Giant slept. I started to read a book and he was like, wtf are you doing awake?! He was right. I put the book down and woke up… 4 hours later. 🙂 We went for a 4.28 mile run in the park and I made brunch at home. I warned him in advance that I have a sugar-less home so the donuts from the farmer’s market and donut plant were all for him! And if he wanted any sugar, it would have to be in the form of fruits. I sliced him a fuji apple and poured him some orange juice while I made apple cinnamon walnut waffles (out of almond flour) and whipped up some eggs. My typical, paleo breakfast which was served at about 2pm and kept us full all freakin’ day. We lazed around, rented Dope from iTunes, and he left for home at about 7pm. Seriously, I’m not sure when he graduated to all-day and overnight dates, but somehow that happened.
One thing I did notice: he didn’t help me clean up after brunch. After he left, I had plates and glasses and mixing bowls and pans to wash. When I was at his house and he was making breakfast and dinner, I totally cleaned up. So that’s a bit of a red flag for me.
No plans to see each other till the marathon expo in two weeks; I have to travel for work this week but fortunately will only be gone for 26 hours.
I’ve got a little cold that’s trying to develop but I won’t let it! I felt worse earlier in the week but then slept a lot on Wednesday and Thursday nights so I felt better for the hayride which then made me feel worse this morning as I was more congested than I had been a few days before.
I’m inviting a bunch of friends to dinner in BK after the marathon; I invited The Giant, thinking he prob won’t make it. Hahaha! He may surprise me which would really fucking shock me. But I’ve only brought it up once and I didn’t tell him where so let’s see if he asks. Eek.
Now I’m on a self-imposed 10pm bedtime which means I’m already late since it’s 10:01!