In a complete 180, things with Hot Boss have fizzled into… just about nothing. He left for California last Sunday and was away for a week. Over that week, we spoke via text at a pretty regular clip during the first half of his stay. He even sent me a selfie with the new tattoo of his wife’s name on his arm. Then at some point on Wednesday or Thursday, things came to a virtually screeching halt. I sent him a couple of photos from Michigan while I was there on those days, and then Friday – that was the first day since Hot Boss and I started talking in July that we haven’t spoken. At all. Total crickets. Nothing. He texted me Saturday morning, saying he’d gotten home at 1am, told me about the weather, asked what running I had planned for the weekend, etc. I passively aggressively responded three hours later and asked nothing which is what I got in return. I texted him this afternoon and his read receipts show that it hasn’t been read yet. I sent the text 5 hours ago.
As I wrote in my previous post, I wondered if he was still grieving… and I think he still is, in his own way, despite what he says. His actions tell me something else, which is what he told me I’d have to do anyway – take time to realize that he was truly fine. Except, with time, I’m realizing that his mourning continues. I decided to pump the brakes on my end, and not bombard him with messages, especially while he was 3000 miles and three time zones away. Especially not after the tattoo.
The practical side of me is now thinking, shit – what am I supposed to do now with my flight to Michigan next Friday? If I have to take the financial hit to change my flight to Monday, then I guess I have to. Fuck.
Also, the practical side of me is thinking, I don’t need this mind-fuck with 6 days till the marathon. I already have a little cold that comes and goes, and is giving me enough anxiety that I can’t handle any more!!
It’s a rather unfortunate turn of events. Am I overreacting? I don’t think so. He and I have a weird, unexplainable connection so, unlike with a stranger, I think that whatever is happening, I’m not making it up. All I know is that if a guy is interested, he will call, text, reach out, etc. That’s what he used to do… and isn’t doing anymore. So hey, like I told him, timing is everything and things don’t work out more than they do.
In other news, The Giant made a surprisingly thoughtful gesture. Because the marathon is the day after Halloween, I don’t get to dress up, go to any parties, or celebrate. I can’t even eat Halloween candy! Not that I really do anyway but still. So yesterday, The Giant tells me he’s coming over with a surprise and gives me a very cryptic hint, something about getting messy, needing a shower, and wax. HUH?? He walks in the door with two pumpkins! I jumped for joy, and probably squealed a bit, too, haha! I told him that I’ve only carved one pumpkin before in my life, about five years ago. He was shocked! I had to remind him that I’m the child of immigrant parents from a tropical country, haha! He couldn’t stay long, but we did make the pumpkin creations at the top of this page and here:
Mine’s the one on the right, of course. We knocked these out in about an hour. He had to leave for a birthday dinner and in true Giant style, I got stuck cleaning up… but there wasn’t much to clean up, fortunately. I invited him to a work event on Tuesday that it looks like he’s coming to, and then there’s the marathon expo on Thursday evening. Then I might see him at the marathon, too. Maybe that evening at dinner, as well? Jesus. Turns out he got a ticket for me for an event the following week that I was on the fence about attending. Then I’m supposed to leave a couple days later for Michigan and the weekend with Hot Boss.
Ahhhh… Why can’t shit just be easy?!?!
Good thing I’m seeing my therapist tomorrow.
In other news, I’ve got my own tattoo appointment scheduled for the day after Thanksgiving. Shit is about to get real!