What’s with these guys coming out of the woodwork lately? The most notable one, though, has been this one dude. I met him through a colleague while out in Utah about three years ago, and no, he’s not mormon. We hit it off immediately and somehow were compatible in virtually every way. The whole thing lasted maybe 5 months, but I can honestly say that this man broke my heart. Thanks to social media, I knew that he’d met a couple of women out there while he and I were doing whatever it was that we were doing, and well shit, wtf am I supposed to do from 1500 miles away? We were never in an exclusive relationship, although we spoke and FaceTimed every day and the connection was mutually undeniable. The absolute worst part? How he’d reach out to me after things were done, to tell me how these other women had nothing on me, etc etc. OMG- GO AWAY! None of it made sense to me, so I cut him out of my life. Of course he wanted to stay friends, but this was not an option.
In December, I received a text message from an unknown number. Turns out it was him, but I’d deleted his contact info (and our FB , IG, and LinkedIn connections), naturally. He was snowboarding and wanted to say conditions were great and happy holidays. OK, random. I responded, happy holidays, etc. Last month, I sent him a photo from his favorite mountain out there. This was the conversation that ensued:
I told him that I was going to try to get back out there in April and he said to let him know. So the other day I did and he said he’d be around. Next thing I know, he sends me a LinkedIn request. Being that this is NOT a professional relationship, and it never would’ve been, I decided to call his bluff and follow up with a FB friend request. He eventually accepted it. Profile pic? Him and his girlfriend, one of the two that he’d met while he and I dated, on Valentine’s Day. Knowing him, he probably wanted to keep that a secret.
Honestly, I have a hard time understanding why men do this. They’re in a relationship with someone else, yet still reach out to other women and, in my case, women from several years ago. I had an ex do this, and even came to pick me up and take me out when I had a broken ankle; meanwhile, when his gf (who would go on to become his 2nd wife) called, he laughed and told me he was going to tell her he was somewhere else.
Well, no shit.
This kind of behavior doesn’t exactly give me a lot of faith in men or relationships. As my very good girlfriend says, you can’t trust them farther than you can see them. Or throw them.
And while I’m at it – can we revisit Hot Boss for a moment? Communication fizzled out around the holidays, which was totally fine as things with The Giant started to ramp up. We didn’t really start talking again till mid-January and wow – he’s been on what I think is a full-court press lately. Lots of texts and asking me how things are going. I have certainly asked him for help with school work and he says he’s happy to assist. He gets pretty into it, too, which is awesome!
But let’s pump the brakes. I was in Michigan for work and had lunch with him right after we (my coworker and I) landed. Fortunately, my coworker is one of the most chill dudes I know so he wasn’t even going to think anything was weird about it. Then at our awards dinner on Wednesday night, Hot Boss crashed the party. Everyone was happy to see him, but the two girls on my team that knew what had gone/was going on on were like, OH SHIT! Of course, Hot Boss found a chair next to me and stayed there till we wrapped up.
On the party bus back to our hotel, my boss asks me, with a look of awe on his face, “I heard you got to fly with him! WHAT?!” To which my other colleague asked, “How do you get that VIP ticket?!” All I said in response was a shrug and, “We’re homies.”
Well shit, now that people know that he and I stay in touch, I guess I can’t be surprised when/if the rumor mill starts. Especially after the other day when he commented on my new FB profile pic “Beautiful, as always”. :::groan:::