Dilemmas (continued)

I’d like to say that a lot has happened since this time last month, but I’d be lying.  Sort of.

While in LA for school two weeks ago, I got horrendously sick with food poisoning, missed class, and had my first ambulance ride to the ER and everything.  I was imagining Friday night ER scenes filled with gun shot and stabbing victims.  The medic said I was going to Santa Monica, and I wasn’t back home in Brooklyn anymore.  Oh right.  🙂  They pumped me up with fluids and sent me on my way.  Two of my tremendous classmates/girlfriends stayed with me.  So many of the others were back in Malibu and just incredibly supportive.  For a bunch of people who’ve known each other for all of four months, I’m happy and fortunate to have them in my world.

On Saturday I was well enough to attend class.  After it ended, the usual questions of who needs a ride to the airport ensued.  I declined a couple of offers and they all figured why: AirBnB guy was coming to get me.  Yes, he was.  And he was bringing his dog whose birthday it was that day.

(Sidebar: you might ask where was AirBnB guy when I was ill the day before?  He didn’t show up at the hospital which is fine because it really wasn’t that serious, and did text several times to ask how I was.  I had no signal in the hospital either, so getting the messages after was nice.  You might also ask where was The Giant through all this?  He was at Passover dinner in the middle of nowhere with intermittent cell service.  He called as soon as he got my messages and offered to meet me at the airport at 7am on Sunday morning.  I said I’d be fine, which I was, and made it home without incident.)

AirBnB guy drives up, and I introduce (and re-introduce) him to one of my girlfriends and my advisor who he’d previously met.  We go down to PCH and let his dog run around the grass and pond while we talked and waited out the traffic.  His dog stayed near me where we were sitting in the grass; I am seriously crazy about this dog!  We dropped his dog off back at their house and we went to dinner.  We walked from the parking garage down to the sidewalk when he says, “Hey.”  I turned around and he kissed me.

NOW – please keep in mind that for the past 8 months, I’ve been dating someone who is not a fan of PDA.  We do not walk down the street holding hands or in any form of physical contact, and this is not by my choice.  Kissing me in the middle of the sidewalk in a downtown area of anywhere would not happen with him, not in a million years.  So this occurrence was a surprise… of the pleasant kind.

We walked to the restaurant at the end of the block with his arm around me.  This was very strange, but I liked it.  Dinner was fine; I’d actually been to that restaurant before with coworkers.  Then he brought me to the airport.  He said something about how maybe I’d be able to leave on a Sunday instead of a Saturday.  I said I’d look into it, knowing fully well that Sundays are my standing date days/nights with The Giant.  So what could I do?  Get into town a day earlier instead.  Same shit.

Before anyone thinks that AirBnB guy is this breath of fresh air, let me air my grievances.  While he is incredibly good looking, he still talks about himself a ton and asks very few questions about me.  Example: I asked him a while back when his birthday is.  He told me, and never asked when mine was.  Who does that?!  Not that I want anything from him for my birthday, but he just didn’t ask.  On the drive down from Malibu, he said that he knows he talks a lot and claimed it was because he had to do it so much for work.  Mmmkay.  He’s also very opinionated, and I think focuses a lot more on aesthetics and appearances than I would.  I like to think I can find beauty in most things, and I don’t enjoy putting anyone down or making any unsubstantiated judgments on people.  This makes him sound kind of mean, and I guess in a way, he kind of is.

NOW – let’s compare to The Giant.  One of his most endearing qualities is that he is extremely kind-hearted.  The things that AirBnB guy says would never come out of his mouth.  I bet that he’d rather kiss me in the middle of a crowded street than say something so judgmental about someone.  Both of these guys are from Connecticut.  One grew up in what I believe was an upper middle class family that traces itself back to the Mayflower.  The other grew up in a lower middle class family that came through Ellis Island.  Is it obvious which is which?

In any case, I speak with both on a daily  basis, but of course, I am much more attached to The Giant.  Nearly eight months together will do that to you (or most of you, but definitely not all of you).

Despite it all, The Giant and I are still very much on different pages when it comes to how we think about this relationship.  I looked at him very confused when he said that he thought things were serious.  Da hell would make you think that?  I told him that everything and he and I do together, vacations and whatever else, I have done with other men who were not my boyfriend and did not want to be in a relationship.  So how exactly is this any different?  This turned out to be a very heated argument that happened the day after I got back from my ER-filled weekend in LA.  I also said that I’m tired of bringing things up; I’m always bringing things up; it’d be nice to know he thinks about things, too.  He said that he does, but I said that I don’t know that because he doesn’t tell me.

We left that conversation two weeks ago with the idea that we would both take some time to think about things, especially if this was something we should continue to pursue.  I agreed and flew to Texas the following day.  I saw him yesterday and he brought it up (wow!).  We talked about it a little but agreed that we would go into it more tomorrow night.  Works for me.

Stay tuned.

 

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