about 24 hours ago, i found myself at the beginning of relationship v2.0 with him. the truth is, i never know how a conversation with him is going to go, let alone end up. one of the reasons for this is that we like talking to each other so we go off on tangents and sidebars. another factor for this particular subject matter of “us” is the fact that it’s such an emotionally charged subject – at least for me.
so when he called me last night, i had not a clue on what was going to happen. were we going to come to an agreement to start over? or say “fuck it”? he had questions and concerns that we addressed, such as would either or both of us have the courage to say it wasn’t working out if that’s how we felt? i said that i’d like to think so, given what we’ve already been through. we already know what it’s like to not have the other person around.
he also said that he realized, with my help, that he isn’t 21 anymore (he’s 36) and getting older and that he needs to be more conscious of time and age. my own age never bothered me because 1) everyone thinks i’m at least 10 years younger than i really am, and 2) i don’t have a ticking biological clock. what i did realize is if he wants kids, with me specifically, then that biological clock is suddenly a thing, his and mine.
we spent most of our time today talking about what we’re doing this summer and when. between my work and school travel, i’m home as much as i can be, and spending as much time with him, and his and my friends, as possible.
it certainly does feel like there’s been a new life breathed into our relationship and i’m excited about the possibilities, especially now that i’d like to think we have a fresh perspective of things and are, for once, on the same page. just from our conversation last night, i could already tell a difference in how we spoke to each other. looks like i met my deadline 2-1/2 weeks early! while it could’ve gone either way, now i have to get used to this idea that after about four years, i have a boyfriend again. we won’t see each other till saturday and i’m really looking forward to it.
now if i can go for the hat trick! please keep your fingers crossed for me on the other two: the job i interviewed for, and the scholarship!
my sister said july is supposed to be a good month for me. so far, so good. xx