it’s been two weeks of being single, aaaaand i’ve been enjoying it! it’s amazing how liberated i feel. i feel… like i can be myself again, and not have to constantly worry about what i say and do upsetting or hurting someone else’s feelings. i’m spending time with friends and can speak as candidly and openly – and it’s fuckin great! i haven’t heard a peep from the EXBF but since i blocked his number and filtered out his email address, i don’t expect to hear from him unless he shows up at my apartment or sends me something via snail mail. some people think i’ll hear from him somehow which bothers me because i truly don’t want to. but hey, i’m enjoying life and he’s probably still sulking and/or really pissed.
hot aussie classmate called me again last week after he’d missed our team call for school. his first question was, have you heard from your man? he knew we broke up, so i told him no, i hadn’t and that i didn’t expect to. i asked if he had spoken with his gf and he hadn’t because he’d just gotten back to LA the night before. we talked about relationships a little, he asked me if i wanted kids (my answer is the same: if i found a good baby daddy, then sure. if not, i’m good), and then we talked about homework.
plot twist #1:
i am not above doing some mild recon work via the interwebs. over the weekend, i looked at his gf’s IG account and was SHOCKED to see a photo of them. it was the first one she’d ever posted (they started dating in january) and she never even referred to him via social media before. CLEARLY he hadn’t had his “conversation” with her. how did this make me feel? a little crushed but it’s not me who really has anything to lose here. we never agreed that we would both break up and start dating; we just both said that we would have these conversations that would lead to break up. mine was quick. maybe he’s having second thoughts, which is fine, but really, i hope he doesn’t expect to be able to grab me in the hallways while he’s still got her around. shit, that’s just not nice and makes me lose any interest i might have even had for a relationship with him.
the next day, monday, we had another team video conf call and he’s like, look at you! you look beautiful! and i’m like, umm… thanks? i was supposed to go to a quick dinner tonight but couldn’t make it, so i’m here. then he proceeds later in the call to tease me about being our finance professor’s muse which he later texted me to apologize for and said was inappoptriate. in any case, during the call, i kept on inwardly shaking my head at him, haha!
it’s hard to explain how i feel about hot aussie. yes, he’s incredibly handsome. yes, he’s smart as hell. yes, he’s funny and laughs at my sense of humor, too. i’m attracted to him, but not quite in a romantic way. i can 100%, honestly never have anything romantic happen with him again and be ok with it. there’s something there blocking me from wanting more from him. who knows – maybe he feels the same way. either way, whatever. 🙂
plot twist #2:
i “met” a guy via OKC a few months back, while EXBF and i had broken up the first time around. let’s call him Danish Daddy (“DD” for short!). we never met in person and then EXBF and i got back together which i told DD about. we stayed in touch and texted every now and then, and finally met up one day at the beach. we chatted very briefly and still stayed in touch. he asked to meet up while i was still with EXBF to talk about diving in the philippines, a bucket-list destination for him. i agreed. when the day came to meet DD, i was single again but hadn’t told him this. we met up for some ramen in alphabet city on a cold, rainy night. then we met for lunch the next day. outside the downtown 6 train astor place station, he kissed me. it totally took me by surprise but i wasn’t against it. we met for lunch again yesterday and i asked him if he thought i was single. he said he wasn’t sure, but assumed i was, and that when he asked to meet to discuss diving, he would’ve done it regardless if i had a boyfriend or not… but DD did admit that he was putting out a feeler. honestly, it’s kind of a challenge to speak openly since i couldn’t do so for one year with the EXBF, but i challenge myself to speak openly with this guy. and he doesn’t hold back either, and said that he likes my direct approach (for now anyway, ha!). as he walked me to the train, i told him that this was very unexpected. i didn’t go into meeting him having any intentions in mind. i was still in a daze from the breakup and re-calibrating my system. and *plop* here’s a really cool ass dude.
we’re seeing each other again this weekend… and i’m surprisingly looking forward to it. he’s very easygoing and happy. that’s very attractive. and he’s smart; we talk about all sorts of shit going on in the world, just as much as we talk about snowboarding. surprisingly, his appearance is very much NOT my type. he’s got messy blonde hair with big blue eyes that pop from the tan he acquired from surfing all summer. DD also has two kids, 10 and 8, who live in london. he’s never been married but talks to his kids everyday and goes there often, or brings them here. seems like a really good dad.
he told me that he likes hanging out with me and hopes it turns into something more – and not in a sexual way but a more substantial way. how’s that for direct? amazing.
too early to tell, but for now, he’s a contender!